Starting out

"The first six months were hell; the second six months were purgatory; the third sex months were heaven; and when it came time for me to leave, I wept bitter tears." Mary Elizabeth Bates, circa 1880, Medical Women's Journal

I have to smile when reading this ~ cause thankfully this isn't true because of beastly preceptors or the ever-present stereotype of nurses eating their young that paralyzed me with fear going into this new adventure otherwise known as starting a career. It's more all the unknown' that will remain unknowns until the book gets cracked, questions (always seemingly stupid or things that "should" be known) get asked, and yes, new experiences plopped upon my plate.. "No thank you" helpings that served me in childhood don't get me far at all now...not that they ever did when I was young. The unwanted food was still there waiting to be eaten, but at least my family knew it was unwanted in my stomach and plate. I digress.

But it's exciting. Exciting to realize that yes, I actually do like nursing. I like getting more comfortable with the charting, the patient's, their families, the multidisciplinary team meetings and as always, the thought of "Where can I go with this?" It seems so long ago that I put my arm around his waist, hugging him to leave and said, "It just feels as if the world is opening up and the options abound!" To which he said, to my surprise, "It's always been like that for you though..."

Gets a little confusing at times when all my day consists of waking up on time, showering, dressing, sucking down some tea (caffeinated or not depending on my daily convictions), getting to work, surviving, not killing anyone, coming home, thinking of making dinner, and falling asleep on the sofa. There's little burning bush glory emanating from "this little speck of dust on the horizon of this great earth" as Claire says it, but maybe a simple breath of thanks is all and everything forthenow.